Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Another ordinary useless day

I can’t sleep. It’s not that I’ve already had a small day-time nap, but I can’t sleep. Something is bothering my mind. It’s 1 in the am and it’s totally awkward for a boy of my age to wake up in the middle of the night [either way, 1 o clock isn’t exactly the middle, but I think you get my point]. You can argue that many youngsters in fact ARE awake at this time of the night, texting or talking to their loved ones [loved ones- sarcasm intended]. But I don’t… Pretty much because almost no girl texts me during the day in the first place, let alone at night. If kadalai is a measure of one’s social status, then I come under the ‘Most Backward Class’.

Filling up my contract forms almost took a couple of days. And now, it’s over. I have almost 10 days to what I can call ‘My call from above!’ Yeah… My company wants me to take charge in 10 days. And so, this is officially the last ‘summer holidays’ I’m gonna have. My stomach is giving out sounds that could otherwise be heard from tyrannosauruses in JURASSIC PARK movies. Damn it! I’m hungry.

I go to the kitchen in slow motion and see if I can find something to eat. When I switch on the light, all I can see in the dim yellow glow of the 25W SURYA BULB is a family of cockroaches. I’m not sure if they’re literally from a single family, but yeah, they sure look similar… I go back to the hall and bring in there the day’s DINAMALAR newspaper, roll it into a club and beat those roaches. A brilliant timepass for a 21-year old at 2 am. Just like those hungry ambitious cockroaches [which I mercilessly assassinated just now] I too search the kitchen, move from shelf to shelf in search of food. Nothing…. The night’s share of rice has been soaked in water, the idli maavu dabba is empty, no milk, and as a last resort, I look for the mighty pottu kadalai. Just then, I find a pack of GOOD DAY biscuits, half-empty. I finish the remaining 5 in the pack and crush the wrapper. I threw it in the dustbin and take a drink of ice-water from the fridge. I hope at least now I’ll be able to sleep.

I roll this side, I roll that side, I place my leg on my brother, who now sounds like a TAFE tractor, snoring… Shit! I can’t sleep. I become extremely desperate, type the expression “Hi!!J” in my mobile and send it to a couple of friends. What am I thinking?? Who’d be awake at 3.30 in the morning, just because I can’t sleep? Oh well… I start to do something useful- visit Wikipedia in my mobile’s Opera Mini 5. I start to read about Hollywood actors. That’s where I go wrong. I should instead read something that is classified boring, so I’ll go to sleep…

It’s 4.15 and I still can’t sleep. But those tyrannosaurs inside my tummy have been silent for quite some time. Something is better than nothing. Enough of this! If sleep doesn’t come to me, I should better be going to it. Varamattennu sonnana?? Appo NAAMA povom!!! I get up and roll my jamakkaalam and pillow. I run upstairs to the motta maadi and try to catch some sleep there, where it’s cooler. No. Even nature is against me. The sun is approaching and the sky pretends to be a chameleon and changes colour. A number of crows circle above where I lay. One of them sits on a PVC pipe that is one of the arteries of my apartment’s water supply. Immediately the others follow it. So, when one lands on the pipe, the one which is already on the pipe flies away due to the jerk [I’m not scolding the crow. I mean the physical jerk on the pipe] making a hell lot of noise. Now I see where the inspiration to the ANGRY BIRDS game comes from.

Ok. If you can’t beat them, join them. Once in a few years I wake up at such early hours and so it wouldn’t hurt to do a little sandhya vandhanam. And then while I count from 1 to 30 for a small pushup routine, I notice something. A few years ago, there were only poles and clothes line on the motta maadis, but now every building has these little dishes- receivers of DTH. And how many different kinds of them! Airtel, Videocon, Sun Direct, Dish TV, Reliance Big TV, Tata Sky… Which brings me to the question- What is the need to include a rhyming tagline for something relating to technology? [Isko lagaa daalaa, toh life jingaalaalaa, Veettukku veedu Sun, Tan tanaa tan] I mean, what does jingaalaalaa mean? Oh well…

I brush my teeth, take a bath and have my breakfast. I sit down for another day of strenuous TV watching. And voila! Powercut!! I might as well go to the bank. They have a backup generator there. SBI Nanganallur is always a busy place, no matter what part of the year it is. There is always the thirumann-srichurnam clad mama who can’t differentiate between the withdrawal slip and the deposit challan. Then there is the droopy old lady with a walking stick who wants someone to fill her form so she can take home her late husband’s pension money. There is this middle-aged lady who is ready to grab a seat as soon as it is vacant. There is the other middle-aged lady who wants you to donate your seat to her. There is this NRI guy who always has problems with this account. Finally, there is this cute cuddly scantily dressed [sleeveless low neck t-shirt (or banian) with a low hip jean with the bottom rolled till the thigh. If you don’t think this is glamour, I don’t know what is] girl with excessive makeup making her seem like she’s not from around these places. If it were not for the last category of people, nobody in the suburb would have even had an account in the branch. It is a cardinal rule that every token on the counter had a difference of at least 50 with the one currently dispatched. For me? It is 200. Finishing with the banking and going on with brunch.

After that the general facebook routine, followed by the mail checking process and the disciplined blog reading procedure. Then again with the TV watching routine. Very well with the hours going by. I can understand that you find that grammar is missing from the above sentences. Oh well, evvalavo panrom, idha panna mattoma?  It’s night now and it’s time for supper [again]. Again with the TV watching schedule. AXN, S-PIX, Movies NOW… Conclude the day with Phineas & Ferb. Glory to the soul which introduced me to it. As always I end the day with the usual thoughts that every Indian mind thinks before it goes to sleep-

Why is India a dumping ground for most 3rd grade products?

When will we have a clean democracy and unadulterated politics?

Why is Katrina Kaif so cute?


  1. Well.. It's different from you this time.. As usual SUPER..

    1."If kadalai is a measure of one’s social status, then I come under the ‘Most Backward Class’."
    2."Now I see where the inspiration to the ANGRY BIRDS game comes from."

    Especially I enjoyed the above lines..

  2. Extremely good Achyuthan.......... I always like routine activities forced with class in it. I hav seen many modern day story tellers or article writers go by forcing it to be interesting - to them all : pls never do that and keep it this way which will allow us to enjoy it.....

    " There is the other middle-aged lady who wants you to donate your seat to her" - Not only this, every explanation was good.

  3. machi nee lover class la "mbc" naaa, I ll come under ST category da ... govt evalavu salugai enakku thandhaalum, enakku aalu amaiyaadhu !!! lol !!! by the way, exotic narration of daily routine ... machi, but one thing, whenever i get sleep, i ll make sure kareena is in my dreams !!!

  4. Climax is great....Hope you had good sleep after that...!!