Friday, December 10, 2010

Bill Gates of Hollow Road and some iron gates of Haddows Road...

Hi friends. This is the last post that I intend to upload for the year. It is with utter contempt that I'm writing this post- after being drained of all energy because of the constant running-catching a bus-running-catching another bus-running…… until I reached the Passport Office of Chennai. Let's face it.. My application was rejected- twice. And that too for very trivial reasons…

Ok, other details being unnecessary, I come to the point. Office- the word immediately triggers in your mind the Software package [mostly MS Office] if you are my age; and the place where you're supposed to work [but you actually don't] if you are my age next year. Central Government Offices in Chennai are given convenient Hindi names [like Shastri Bhavan, Aayakkar Bhavan, Raj Bhavan, Adyar Ananda Bhavan… Ok, strike the last one] with the sole idea that just like most Tamilians don't understand Hindi, most people [even those with the highest possible IQ] don't understand what's going on inside those places. Although the same point has been emphasized in almost all Shankar movies, it is only when you experience it first hand, that you understand the trouble.

These are the points that I find significant as difference between MS Office and a Govt. Office…

MS Office

Govt. Office
1. Most copies used worldwide are pirated. Also, sometimes, the software is corrupt
Most people in the offices are pirates, obviously. The officers are ALWAYS corrupt, irrespective of their designation

2. It is easy to work with

It is easy to work in

3. You need basic computer knowledge to operate the software. So it requires a little training

All the employees in it spend their time sleeping [predominantly]. Since we've been doing that since time immemorial, you don't need any sort of training to work in

4. You need to pay money if you need to use that package legally

Legal or illegal, it's YOU that's gonna get paid if you work in a Govt. office [if you actually decide to work, that is…]

5. You have a limited number of applications in the suite

You have millions of applications pouring in, every single day

6. There is only one Office help or assistant, and he takes several shapes

There are several office assistants and mostly, all of them are in bad shape

7. More importantly, the Office assistant provides useful appropriate help

The office assistant isn't of much help. He is virtually useless and the only person stupider than him is the one he's working for

8. Almost all applications are inter-related (i.e) you can work seamlessly between applications

No two applications are related. If you are gonna apply for a birth certificate, you have to first prove to the Tahsildar that you were actually given birth to… For that you need to summon your parents in front of the Municipality office [and don't forget to bring their birth certificates along!]

9. The output or final result is always beautiful, professional or creative

The output, by law, is always stupid, clumsy, irrational and ugly

10. Most importantly, Microsoft considers Apple Inc., its arch rival. So, there is no room for Jobs [Steve Jobs] here

The government always procrastinates its work and hence there is a large number of vacancies for many posts in almost every government office. In other words, there is ALWAYS room for jobs.


Last, but not the least, for the first time in my life, I saw a "Microprocessor based Fire Alarm Control" in the office. The only other place where one can find such a stupid contraption is during the intra departmental Project presentation [Virtuoso] of my class. But luckily, just like in Virtuoso, here too the device wasn't functioning properly…

With this, i complete my 19 post-long edition of Blogging 2010. Thanks for patiently reading my words and tolerating my ideas. Thanks are due to my schoolmates- Adithya, Bargavi, Hari, Shalini, Srivatsan, my class/collegemates- Ananth, Anitha, Balaji anna, Barath, Chinna, Kailash, Karthi, Rahul, Saranya, Shanmu, Shyam, Venkat and special thanks to Dilip, Prabhu, Mythili, Saranya and Roopa and  for their valuable comments.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year friends...

Monday, December 6, 2010

Male chauvinism- on a superhuman scale...

"More often than necessary, you take up topics involving superheros and action for writing" is what most of my friends complain about me after reading my posts. So, just to satisfy their thirst for "HATRED TOWARDS SUPERHEROS", i write this one about a superheroine... And about how women face biased treatment, not only in the real world, but also in paper...
As soon as someone utters the word superheroine, it is Wonderwoman who comes to everyone's minds. No wonder she is the most prominent female icon in the comic world. So, i'd like to take up cases one by one just to make my point that, "If you are a woman, you need to face a lot of hurdles, even if you have superpowers".

A quick description:
Wonderwoman is the princess of the Amazons [Amazons as in Greek mythology, not the South American forests], who has exceptional powers as compared to the others of her race, not to mention the fact that all the Amazons are women and they are many times powerful than us ordinary men. So, she lives in Themyscira, the land of the Amazonians, and comes to the rescue of men during World War-2. She later takes up the guise of a normal woman- her alter-ego: Diana Prince, and works as a Secret Services Officer.
Wonderwoman, basically from a clan that despises manly hatred, spreads the message of love, peace and sexual equality... She uses her super-strength and speed to accomplish her goal. She is supposed to have been blessed by many Greek goddesses, including aphrodite...

These are the questions that have been keeping me awake...

1. In the JUSTICE LEAGUE series [cartoons, comics and movies], Wonderwoman works alongside Superman. It is also said that Wonderwoman's physical strength is comparable to Superman's [who, by the way, is the strongest being in the group]. Yet Superman has an appearance that makes us believe he could lift an aeroplane, and Wonderwoman, who can actually do more, looks like an ordinary woman in a skimpy costume...
Why is Superman depicted as a muscular character, while Wonderwoman, who can do whatever Superman does, is not depicted so?

2. Superman is always made to pose in a heroic kind of stand, while Wonderwoman poses like a model [Supermodel, to be exact]. You can see it in the picture above. One reason behind this is that the majority of the artists and the readers are men, and they like to take sexuality with them wherever they go... So, this is how an artist's rendering of a male superhero [let's say, WonderMan?] would look like, if the artist is a woman...

3.The outfit... Again, in order to invoke sexual pleasure, Wonderwoman's costume is reduced to... well you can see that for yourself. If that's the whole idea, why not make her wear a bikini instead, or much better, to appear nude?

4.Now comes in the real kicker. Those who played Superman, had to look different for the alter-ego Clark Kent. As far as I can remember, I made these points of references when i was about 10 or so.

  • Clark has completely groomed hair, while Superman has a tad sticking out.
  • Clark has a polite and submissive tone, while Superman has a bold one.
  • Clark deliberately acts cowardly, while Superman does not.
  • Most importantly Clark has got to wear a pair of dorky round glasses, while Superman hasn't.
But Wonderwoman doesn't show much of a difference between her superhero-self, and her not-so-super self. The only difference is the costume. And they want the viewers to believe that people won't notice the difference [although, in the TV series, she is depicted with spectacles, sometimes].

This can lead to only one sane conclusion- "Diana!! With you wearing a sexy outfit, and showing more skin than necessary, nobody is looking at your face! So you don't have to worry about losing your identity."

5. This is the part, which actually made me take pity on Wonderwoman. These are the stats which i borrowed from the internet.

First Superman comic- June, 1938
First Superman movie- 1978
Time gap- 40 years

First Wonderwoman comic - December, 1941
First Wonderwoman movie- Latest preliminary proposal in 2001
                                                 Subsequent changes made in 2003, 2005, 2006, 2008 and 2010
                                                 As of now, it's due for release in 2013.
Time gap- 72 years [If the movie really comes out!!]

Why is there such a wide difference? Can't you make a single movie in 32 [72-40] years?? This is atrocious... Even Wonderwoman can't escape the clutches of Hollywood politics...

Many a time, i see girls/women whining about their rights being denied and similar crap... I used to wonder- there are special buses for ladies, special coaches in trains for ladies, even special trains- completely for women, quota on almost everything for women, and the list goes on... And still they don't stop complaining??? Whew!

As an information, it is women who don't care when their rights are being taken away, and when they realise it after a loooooong time, they start protesting. Men, on the other hand, don't care about it, as they hardly have any time left to worry about stolen rights...

Lastly, as a measure to ensure my blog's longevity, i herewith enclose the most powerful weapon, mankind [specifically men] has ever faced- Megan Fox!!:)