Saturday, June 26, 2010

Why we are what we are...

Hi again, again. In almost all sorts of stories, one can see the importance of confidence and self-esteem at about the time of the climax [Superhero movies, and almost all sorts of Tamil movies]. Thus it is highly important that one doesn't underestimate himself [and leave that to the professionals]. Also, one is capable of performing to his maximum only if he believes in himself. Otherwise, he'd have to renegotiate with his wife [please understand]...


The title of this post is indeed one that was thought up with the idea of boosting up one's idea on oneself and also to save oneself from the factors that have a negative influence on a person. But to be honest, i decided to end thinking of such rubbish ideas with the title. Also, it will not be credible if people go on talking to their neighbours on what is right/wrong and what should/shouldn't we do about them [We have Premananda and Nithyananda to do exactly that... and a lot of other stuff]. But, even though a person does try to abstain himself from most or all of the worldly attractions, he may not succeed in staying away from the simplest of such delights- being someone else.

The concept of imagination, i feel, must have germinated in our minds with visualisation or personification. We might have imagined ourselves as Rama [getting all sorts of things done at the snap of a finger], Krishna [having one hell of a time with all the gopikas around], Samsung [with the new Corby and all, not to mention his inhuman strength], not as mere inspirations to life- the characters being role-models of unbelievably extra-ordinary living, but also as dolt examples of being very... dolt [The imagination of girls is more like a simpleton- having to be flattered everytime a person speaks of her beauty and to spend every shilling of her finance trying to be like a movie-star, until she learns that whatever she had spent was merely waste. But I'm not so stupid as to mention it here]. But now is the time to think beyond historic anomalies, so that we may create anomalies of our own, anomalies that create history!

One such soon-to-be-a-major calamity i succeeded in avoiding is, Spiderman. Spiderman, be it comics or cartoons or movies, has been a major source of inspiration to people mainly because of its story, narration and the atmosphere [also because most of us are scared of spiders]. So it's very natural that kids imagine themselves as Spiderman, think that they'll be able to crawl walls, sling web and most importantly, hang out with Mary-Jane... Owing to such an attraction, i put myself in the Spiderman-frenzy myself. But because of some deterrent elements, i stopped thinking of such an idea.

WHY I'M NOT SPIDERMAN...

1. First and foremost, i wouldn't take photos of Kirsten Dunst while she posed in front of some stupid spiders... I'd stand right next to her and get someone to take that picture.

2. If at all a spider bites me on my hand, i'd catch it even before it catches the floor and even if it did, ஒரே மிதி... squash that spider and send it to Pete [St.Peter]...

3. If i had some sort of physical ailment because of that spider-bite [or even if i didn't], i'd take atleast one week's leave from my school, stating in my leave letter that my aunt [Meg] is terminally ill [AND get it signed from Meg herself...]

4. Tobey Maguire had probably worked out so hard that he developed a 6-pack ab overnight. But you know ME. I wouldn't do anything like that. So, if at all i wear a Spiderman outfit, i'd look more like CRAZY FROG than like Spiderman... You want proof?



5. In that wrestling match with BONE-SAW, why would i come down from the sides of the cage? I'd stay up there on the cage-walls, till the 3 minute tenure is over and in case i get bored, i'd read Yashawant Kanetkar's Let Us C...

6. In the 2 cities where I live, you can't see any building taller than 10 storeys. So, it'd be a waste even if i had the powers of web-slinging. Imagine me throwing a webshot at a house that i can very well jump over!

7. It's been running in our blood [Indian blood], that we can't keep secrets... So, me being an Indian n all, i'd let everyone know my identity, move around without my mask and so newspaper reporters would call me by my real name, rather than Spiderman [also, where i live, names are radically tamil-ified. So, they'd call me சிலந்தி or much worse, எட்டுக்கால்-பூச்சி!]

8. YOU SHOULDN'T BE ASHAMED OF WHO YOU ARE. This is one of the many points to note from the movie. So, me being webhead, I'd go straight to MJ, ask her if she likes me [and for the record, Kirsten said she loved Spiderman in Spiderman 1], and get married just before the intermission of the 1st movie. So, owing to family responsibility, i won't be doing Spiderman 2 and 3 at all!!

9. Villains... We don't have such really Villain-like villains in Chennai or Coimbatore. So, logically, there wouldn't be any need of Spiderman. So, i'd go around and make a stall, where i can earn quite a loot of money for posing in different sits and positions. Even if there are any such villains, who cares?? Just like any ordinary citizen of India, i'd stay put until my ass is burnt...

10. Lastly, owing to my current requisite, I'd include all the powers of mine- web slinging, wall crawling, zipping, jumping, punching & kicking, spider-sensing, etc. as my special skills in my Curriculum Vitae, so that at least with those in my couple of pages, TCS would recruit me!!!

These are just the first of the list of a million reasons, which will make none of us suitable for the post of a superhero.

And THAT'S WHY I CAN'T BE SPIDERMAN...[And NEITHER CAN YOU!!!]
 
{Friends, please post your comments with a view to clearly indicate what YOU would do, if you were Spiderman, or any person you dream to be, but know for sure that you can't be...}

3 comments:

  1. "In case i get bored, i'd read Yashawant Kanetkar's Let Us C..." - Sounds really funny.

    Hats off for your crazy Spiderman combination.

    I was impressed with Batman because for the following dialogue when a common man like me asks him 'I too have a costume similar to yours and my intentions are same, so what makes the difference between you and me'

    "I don't wear Hockey pads like you"

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  2. So u think v girls waste money in beauty parlours. Wat abt u guys then....Again reading Let us C really funny da.Hw much times will u read a book.And it is not 10 STORIES it is 10 STOREYS pl do correct it.If u had the skills of spiderman may be TCS can recruit u but imagining u executing such skills will be funny da.At last it was a good , funny and interesting.

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