Friday, June 18, 2010

Mommy... That prick called me a communist!!!

Hi [to those who read my blog, and also to those who land on my blog due to misspelt web-addresses]. At times i think why, at all, I'm writing this blog... Is it because i have access to the internet at a cheap price? Is it because i know all 26 alphabets of the language of the Kings? [which, by the way, means English] Is it because Blogger is free? Though i signal a partial yes to all these questions, I would definitely not fail to mention the premier reason for my works, which is, my being idle... Oh sorry, slapped by truth this time. The main reason for my writing this blog is you and yourself only. If it hadn't been for you highly savvy readers, i would have given up blogging and would have chosen to help my mom with the dishes, or, much worse, taken up studying. So, i thank you once again...

Most of you readers would have got fed up with the above sentences and would have opted to close the browser. To all the others, this post is about politics. Yes. In TamilNadu, children are taught certain fundamental rules, even before being taught அ, ஆ, இ, ஈ, the most important of which is- AS EVIDENT AS A BUS THAT TOUCHES GCT TOUCHES VENKATAPURAM ALSO, ANYTHING THAT COMES CLOSE TO CINEMA EMBRACES POLITICS ALSO. I've met cinema, now why not politics?

It was Placement-Training time and while we prepared for our betterment in English, we sat down for a Group Discussion. Our wonderful PR prepared topics for us and we, a group of four, chose one among them. It was some topic on MAOISTS, that day. We prepared ourselves to face the topic for about 10 minutes. My friends say I don't speak sense. So why trouble so much? So, as usual, my mind was ringing- அறம் செய விரும்பு... ஆறுவது சினம்... இயல்வது கரவேல்... ஈவது விலக்கேல்... The boy sitting next to me said, "Shall we start?". The lovely lady opposite to me smilingly said, "What is a Maoist?".

My mind was crying- உடையது விளம்பேல்... ஊக்கமது கைவிடேல்... Wait a minute!!! Shouldn't that be "Who is a Maoist?" or more clearly "Who are Maoists?"... Backing on my knowledge on Maoists or Maoism [which is NULL for the record], i started to convince myself that her question was correct in both grammar and sense. எண் எழுத்து இகழேல்... ஏற்பது இகழ்ச்சி... My mind went on.

"Hmmm..?", she stressed, with her eyes screaming, "I'm talking to you, asshole!"

"ஐயம் இட்டு உண்."- My mind overrode my mouth.

"What?", she claimed. I still believe that she could not have got a better answer for her question elsewhere.

"What? Sorry... I have no idea...", I regretted. Then we proceeded with the omnivalid topic of GDs, viz., WHICH IS BETTER [I mean, WHICH IS LESS DEVASTATING?]- LOVE MARRIAGE OR ARRANGED MARRIAGE? Having spoken enough about marriages [in class as well as in my blog {refer here}], and having arrived at a point where marriages are despised far more than semester exams, my mind carried on with ஒப்புரவு ஒழுகு... ஓதுவது ஒழியேல்... while my mouth blabbered something about marriages.

Now being the time of 3G hullabaloo all around, i hooked up to 2G internet on a 3G phone and directed myself to the wise sage- wikipedia. This point, gentlemen, is where i disclose to you one of my most firmly-believed beliefs. Even my mom can go wrong in her statements [which she always does, except for when she tells me 'நீ உருப்பட மாட்டே!'], but wikipedia can never go wrong. This is because the articles present in wikipedia are not written by wikipedians... In fact, nobody knows who the hell writes articles for wikipedia. Instead of finding out faults in the articles or on their authors, wikipedia readers appease themselves into believing whatever is written in wikipedia to be true.

I hastily pressed some keys on the keypad so that the word 'Maoist' appeared in the search box. I hit the search button. After 1 hour, the browser showed, 'Connected to wikipedia... Loading...' And after a few hours, the phone came up with the full web-page. Friends, my advice to you- Please don't visit that page- as I took almost 3 days to comprehend the contents of the page. The whole wiki-article can be shrunk into this neat bite-sized passage...

Maoism takes its name from Mao-Tse-tung, a Chinese leader [that's because Mao-Tse-tung is a Chinese name], who came up with the idea of Maoism [and that's because Maoism takes its name from Mao-Tse-tung, a Chinese leader]. THE END...

Ok. If you want more, bite this...

Maoism [and not Mao himself] ruled China until Deng Xiaoping overthrew Maoism. Thus Maoism is a Beta version of Chinese communism and unlike other versions of communism, Maoism is aimed at Agrarian socialism whereas the others are aimed at urban socialism [not to mention organised vandalism. Eg: The train they bombed in North India.] After 1978, Maoism was almost obsolete in China, and the Chinese lived happily ever after... That is, until Deng took charge, that is immediately after 1978, that is when the Chinese started living happily...

Also, there are a number of Maoist organisations in many countries like China, India, Nepal and Philippines [because of which we have a lot of GD topics]. Besides these countries, almost every other country has a corporate office for Maoist activities [offices in which, even the person in charge didn't know if he supported Maoism]. Also, it is worth mentioning that Maoists differentiated themselves from other communist variants [டைபிஸ்ட், டெரரிஸ்ட், அந்த லிஸ்ட்-ல மாவோயிஸ்ட்] in that they were supporters of Guerilla warfare... I wonder how China got its name to be People's Republic of China, when what is going on in China isn't even distantly related to republic.

Another thing i noticed about articles on communism is that the articles are studded with words ending in '-ist'.
Eg:
1) Sentence: Achyuthan is a total idiot.
[This sentence cannot be converted into communist form, because it is a fact.]
2) Sentence: New Delhi is the capital of India.
Communist form: New Delhi is the capitalist of India.
And there is nothing a communist hates more than a capitalist, which is why communists never seem to hold power in New Delhi... [I'd like to mention here, that CPI had acquired power in Kerala and West Bengal]. So, here in communist context, even the simplest of persons is given great power and hence the term 'simple' becomes ambiguous...

Lastly, about a book written by a communist. Recently, I got the chance to read a book- a biography of Che Guevara- சே குவேரா by தா. பாண்டியன். I like the author owing to his heated interviews and aggressive speeches against ruling party(s)... Let me tell you something. Never read a book on a communist by a communist. A friend of mine who had already read the book told me that the book was not meant for lightheads like me. But, just to disprove him, I took up the book. And till date, it's the only book I put down without finishing. The book has a nice start and as it goes on, Che is venerated as something more than a god, an angel, that'll make even Superman quit his job as a saviour of people, and take up writing biographies for a living. TOO MUCH EXAGGERATION is my verdict for the book.

As far as India is concerned, communism is a kind of a last-minute life-saver for resolving political chaos and it is only very rarely that under peaceful circumstances, that communism assumes power. Communist principles are always good to hear, but the methods of implementation of such principles is what brings a slight dishonour to communists, yet that's what communism is all about- Getting right things done in ways right or wrong. No wonder people call me a communist, whenever I speak my heart out. ஔவியம் பேசேல்... அஃகம் சுருக்கேல்... My mind tells me...

6 comments:

  1. I heard from lot of others that u support communism (really).. What happened now?
    I too agree with u in several areas..
    Things happening daily (eg: recent train accident)make maoism a "chao"ism.. Wont u agree!? Your indications are clear.. Communism has several versions and one of its extreme ends is maoism..
    {Ithuku mela paesuna potu thalliruvanga}

    One kind suggestion:
    hereafter dont try like this blog.. There's chance of maoists getting you..

    I wanna know "is that mobile mine?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Shunt,
    Thanks for reading the post da. As I said, many countries in the world have put an end to cinematic imperialism with the help of powerful people who steadfastly believed in communist principles. But somehow, the extremist activities of some communists have stained their golden outfits...

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  3. And YES... That mobile IS yours [although the speed scenario wasn't that bad. In fact, it's better than the broadband internet i have at home].:)

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  4. Communist principles are always good to hear, but the methods of implementation of such principles is what brings a slight dishonour to communists,

    i solemnly accept the above statement.. :)

    aathichoodi adorned this blog..

    keep writing blogs :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Surprised to read this kind of a blog from ACHYUTHAN. "Incongrous and Anachronous to Talk about Communism in these days" will be the statement you will hear after certain years.

    'Communist principles are always good to hear, but the methods of implementation of such principles is what brings a slight dishonour to communists' - I won't say i will go with this, but this is really impressive for those who believe in Communism and wait for supporters.

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  6. I never thought you'd read my blog more than once. Also, yours was the first comment i expected. After watching Anbe Sivam, reading that wiki-article, grazing on Che Guevara and some other movies of Chinese and Latin American themes, this is what you get!

    And, I do NOT support communism... I just like the principles and motives of communists. If you read the history [modern history, to be precise] of any country, communism would have played a huge part. You won't deny it. But still...

    ReplyDelete